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things are changing.

i don't know why this shocks my like it does. people are gone. they may still be here physically, still with me, but things are no longer the way they used to be. i don't know if this is because of me; i would like to think that it is not. but you can never be totally sure.
i'd like to think it is them:
it's her fault for getting back together with her ex boyfriend who only makes her a worse person.
it's her fault for making friends with the wrong people and only disrespecting herself.
it's her fault for not keeping up with me and not answering my phonecalls.
it's his fault for drinking constantly and falling into this hole, and continuing to dig deeper.

but i'm not positive.

why, i find it to be funny. this weekend i went to louisville for a good 24 hours. i stayed with, hung out with plently of people - none of whom i had a clue of who they were this time last year.

i suppose there is nothing else we can do. all that can happen is just to accept things the way they go. people constantly come in and out of our lives and right now no one can imagine their lives without those people. but people change. situations change and nothing is everlasting. it's all ephemeral and i suppose change is good. i'm okay with it. i'm learning to let go.